Nick Santonastasso on how our mindsets hold us back from goals

When Nick Santonastasso was born, he was only the 12th baby born with Hanhart Syndrome - a rare genetic condition that left him with no legs and one arm. By his early 20s, he was already a motivational speaker, bodybuilder, fitness model, and social media sensation.

Central to his successful career, he says, was learning to overcome "victim mentality" and to reverse negative, self-limiting beliefs that held him back.

Being present was a core lesson from Santonastasso's talk, and something he practices as well as preaches. Speaking just minutes after coming off stage, he said coming back to quiet and solitude after delivering a talk can be an "interesting feeling".

"Luckily, I like to be in my own company. I think that's really important. It's definitely a rollarcoaster of emotions, but I simply just reflect on what I did on stage and I think what I value most is presence so wherever I am, whether it's just in the hotel lobby or with people or taking pictures on stage, as long as I'm present I'm not really in my mind letting it wander."

Keeping the audience present was also a focus of his talk, tapping into 'active learning' by using call outs and prompts as a means of helping them retain the lessons he was sharing.

"We're one piece of information away from changing your whole entire life and so I want to make sure that you're present, you're active and you're ready because you never know when the breakthrough is going to come."

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Santonastasso knows plenty about facing obstacles, as well as overcoming them. Recounting on the stage how after moving to Florida to become a bodybuilder, he was told he couldn't because he doesn't have any legs, he proved how refusing to blindly follow the assumptions of others has led him to his goals.

"It's not the physical body that holds you back, but the biggest disability you could have is your mindset, your psychology, your thinking", he said, describing himself as "a walking, talking example that you may have less but you can still be whole".

"I think there's a lot of people with all their arms and all their legs that may be further away from wholeness and getting them a little bit closer is the goal."

Unlearning what he calls the 'victim mentality' is a key step, he says, adding in his talk that what a person focuses on, they get more of - something that can be used to build them up as well as tear them down.

So how can we start to unlearn those ways of thinking ourselves? "The very direct answer is that ownership is going to really change the quality of your life", he says.

"Oftentimes as humans we leverage the law of cause and effect in the wrong way. Every cause has an effect and every effect has its cause, but we use it to play victim in the sense of, well, 'the reason why I'm overweight is because my whole family is overweight' or, 'the reason why I'm a smoker is because my whole family smokes'. What we're doing is we're casting blame on a specific person or event to rationalise why we're doing what we're doing.

"But simply when you take ownership you go from cause and effect to causing an effect. You go from the passenger seat of life to the driver's seat of life, and when you really just take inventory of your life and say, 'the reason why my body and my bank account and my mindset and my emotions are the way that they are is because of me', you start to get your power back."

For those of use who weren't in the audience for his talk, Santonastasso suggests starting by looking around at what you're focusing on, and what you're not.

"I'd say take a look around and realise that the only reason you're there is because of your decisions, your actions and your habits, and that can sound aggressive but take it from a guy with no legs and one arm, it's living proof."